The Recovery Rant

I was 19 when I entered treatment for my addiction(s). Bill W's 12 Steps & Big Book never worked for me; I found it fascinating that eviction would result if I took a non-prescribed T4, but no discussion or consequence occurred at all re: the packs of cigarettes I was chain-smoking and the gallons of caffeine I was drinking each day. Even at 19 I was all like, "but these are drugs too, right?" (Back then the #EndTheDrugWar thing didn't yet exist.)

Dan Millman's No Ordinary Moments - A Peaceful Warrior's Guide to Daily Life was my lifeline for my recovery. It was my "Big Book" - my "Steps." While many categorically disagree with me, I actually am a person in long term recovery, although my recovery is never represented and certainly does not meet the standard definition of what recovery "is."

When we say "Many Paths" I am of the ilk whose recovery path has been decidedly less trodden. It has been my honour and privilege to spend the past decade advocating fiercely for the rights and dignity and simple recognition of anyone whose recovery journey does not necessarily entail Bill W's dominant 12 Steps, or even teetotalling abstinence, and I will continue to do so wherever and whenever possible.

Recovery is possible in conjunction with harm-reduction, stabilization of mental health with correct assessment and (gasp) prescription, clinical psychological supports (rather than just psychiatric or peer supports). Recovery is not eliminated outright because of the beneficial use of prescribed heroin, or opioid replacement therapies, or medicinal cannabis... or even a goddamn relapse (for the love of fuck Stop. Shaming. Relapse!!).

And recovery might just be shifting from "problematic" to "non-problematic." It is not so all or nothing as the wholly stigmatizing "dirty vs. clean" paradigm suggests.

Addiction is a disease and is also not just a disease. And while we're at it, addiction i not just about substances (regulated or unregulated). We can be addicted to work, gaming, phones, internet, porn, sex, food, shopping. Money. 99 times out of 100, addiction is self-medication of pain, trauma and unmet needs. Addiction is in itself a symptom of a problem, and recovery relies on addressing the actual problem, doesn't it?

Recovery is not one size fits all, and is absolutely more than "this many days 'clean'." Because if the behaviours and situations and thinking and pain don't change, then what exactly has one "recovered"?

Don't ever let anyone define your recovery for you - not the loudest voices from anecdotal recovery rooftops or even the fucking medical experts.

Because anyone using their personal recovery to judge anyone else's is missing the point, right?